The older I get the more I realize that the fight for
femininity in itself is biased and unbalanced so
many more levels than just gender. It is something
that women I have met across the board have talked
about whether in academia, entertainment or
professionalism. There is a clear skewing of what
it is to be a woman towards a caucasian woman.
All women are faced with the trauma of being
devalued for everything but beauty. We are constantly
taught that most of our success will depend largely on how attractive we are and it is
visible through all spheres of lived life. Older female actresses can’t find work
anymore except for playing the role of someone’s catty mother in law or evil boss. I
think the only thing women are burnt at the stake for other than ageing (which there
is nothing to be done about) is being “fat”. The fight to be rail thin is always on and
women actually purposefully make themselves look like an emaciated starving child
in some famine stricken country because that is what is considered beautiful.
Last but certainly not least is the actual framing of femininity and beauty as equated
to white femininity and beauty. The romantic films with the woman, who is adored,
sought after and fought for is almost always a white woman. Are these just the ramblings
of another bitter black woman? No. That label bitter black woman is the response people
give because the truth makes them uncomfortable or because it draws attention to the
malicious damage this does to women of other races.
Jackie from the Jammie Fox show was recently part of a panel that was discussing the
issue of women of color finding men. Also on the panel was New York Times best-
selling author Steve Harvey. He explained some of the principles in his book ‘Act like
a Lady, Think like a Man’. Jackie pointed out the fact that she goes out and acts like a
lady and sits and waits for a man to approach her. Whereas other women (not women
of color) run up to men shake their booty in the faces of men and yet they are still
adored. She went on to say that if she or a woman of color were to do that then there
would be a derogatory name attached to her. She went on to give an example of how
bad behavior by white women is rewarded like certain women who made sex tapes
who were then offered perfume fragrance deals, handbag deals, modeling contracts
and actually are totted around on the arms of athletes proud to call them their woman Again
I throw out the question: bitter black woman complaining? No. Woman of color asking the
question why has long hair; flat behinds and emaciation become the standard put
upon all women for beauty?
I joined a forum that teaches men how to be better at attracting women through
various techniques. For the longest time I have fought with myself on whether or not
to leave the forum. Why? Because all and I mean all of the imagery of “sexy” women
are white. One Arab guy actually posted a thread on how race is a barrier for him.
Why? Because he is gunning for white women. Another Indian guy wrote that he
needed help because the brown skin thing sometimes turns girls off. Which girls might
these be I wonder: Indian girls, black girls, Latin American girls? I think we all know
the answer to that. There was even a white girl who saw a picture of one of the
instructors with a black girl and her immediate question was “did you sleep with that
black girl?” What is the aim of the forum to teach men confidence and self actualization
or teach them confidence with a certain type of woman? A documentary was released
about being black in Latin America which looked at how many actors/actresses who
play African Americans are actually from Latin America but because “the world”
expects native Spanish speakers to look more like Penelope Cruz or Antonio Banderas,
the only parts they can get are those of African Americans.
A recent survey of diversity of models on the runways for the various fashion shows
indicated that there is some improvement to the number of models from other races
but not nearly enough for anyone to be patting themselves on the back for. The
importance of this variety is that the models on the runway are then chosen by brands
to represent them and that without variety the faces for perfume, clothes and shops
will continue to be white and thin. Click the link below to read the article
http://jezebel.com/5843912/the-impact-of-diversity-on-the-catwalk?tag=modelbehavior&fb_source=message
Now I want to be clear (and perhaps I should have said this in the beginning) I am not
against white beauty or whatever is can be called but I am against the valuing of that
beauty above all others to the point of erasure of all others. The world at large prides
itself on having moved forward from the days of race but I argue that all that has
happenedis a pretense of the non existence of race issues. I am tempted to say that
the quotefrom the film ‘The Usual Suspects’ is absolutely right “the best trick the devil ever
pulled was to convince the world he doesn’t exist”. In these circumstances it is hard
for women of other races to hold a sense of themselves when they are constantly
made to feel like they are performing failed femininity because they don’t have hair
that cascades down their backs. The talk of uniqueness and variety is all talk to give
people a false sense of acceptance when everything else suggests that women of other
races divest themselves from the bodies they live in. Self worth is being externally
shaped by people who do not have the entire female population’s interest at heart.
