Chasing Carrots

From the time we are young we are told that in life we have to get somewhere and that in order to do so we need to have goals. So we live our lives chasing the proverbial carrot. The carrot keeps us up at night, often times it’s why we get out of bed and it keeps us on a certain life lane. Often times when we finally get there, we either don’t realize that we’ve reached our destination or we’ve already got our sights set on the next destination.

I’ve been thinking a lot about actually thinking about where I am. Am I where I want to be? Tomorrow marks a goal reached in my life- the culmination of two years of waiting, gathering documentation, seeing a lawyer and praying. I am an African and I married a European man. Even after our marriage the prospect of my deportation was a real possibility. For two years I haven’t been able to move across borders freely because leaving this country would mean possibly not being let back in so already the seed of the next carrot was seeded: when I can leave, I will go here and do this. I spent most of my time being dissatisfied with all the things my situation meant I couldn’t do, so much so that I never stopped to consider the things I could do. When I got the letter from the immigration office last week telling me that my application was received and reviewed favorably, my elation was more about the next carrot than actually being happy about having reached the first goal. I can’t stop feeling like this probably is missing the point and reason for goals in the first place. My charge to everyone this week is to learn to be content as the apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians in chapter 4 verse 11 as he sat rotting in jail with no prospect of ever getting out: “for I have learnt to be content whatever the circumstances.”